Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Easter Special! 2006 Edition Part 2


Sunday 16th,
The Mgemas-The ever Lovely Nyakomaber and Mgema
are just chilling. After watching almost the entire Prison Break season one on Saturday, Sunday was looking like a quiet day..and thus is started.

But knowing how guys rarely get together and have ‘a lot of things to do’ when it comes to jus getting together, The Mgemas wanted guys to hang out in their digz (Gulliver tuna understand ) because this hasn’t happened since they got their Penthouse (with a view, but do I say?!) It seemed like the perfect opportunity..(Afterall My-key hatakagi tujue kwake-msee, we u-ishi?)

Happy easter to u! Hangin out in the digz tu..thinkin of havin you guys for drink Kesho.. Iko Mtembezi…lakini hata leo mnaweza come na take away!, read the sms to Che.

Hi dear! Happy easter, I can see am not the only one workin this wknd! Mpango ya Kesho? U’re welcome for byob at our hse..from sunrise till tues morn!!, read the one to K.

Come wit newspaper too, read the one to Kababy (aka Wangariwa)..

The My-key, The Ich were given theirs verbally-but alas, almost everyone was busy! Someone
Decided to do the rest of the world a BIG FAVOR and return The Rungz to the National Park, where he belongs!! The Ich was joboing in the digz..so it would come "from seven".

Fast-forwarded- late afte>>Nyakomaber and Mgema are catchin a movie, enjoyin their space, love, time each other’s company…Mtembezi, when Mgema’s phone rings! The Matriach…Thirty mins later, Mgema and Monsieur Mundu Witu are having a quick one in the locals as the proceed back to the Mgemas Penthouse..with a view (blah blah blah). Sijui Che alikuwa ameamkia wapi, nita-explain..

We reached the digollos to find Nyakomaber ready for the rave (at seven thirty-well’ to be fair she was bo-aad), but after kidogo storos wit Mundu Witu, she told the cab guy to take a hike. Shortly, a knock- It’s Ngash! Now this guy has been around all weekend mbaka it feels like he live here-bana hata time yangu na Nyako…!! More storos, Mundu Witu is on that Mtembezi EXCITEDLY-Walalala! It reminded me of a punda in Samburu seeing the floods from MT Kenya after that looong drought…I’m thinking they put that nozzle on the botties to slow down guys with such tabias..

This guy never let’s you down-he proceeds to do only what he can-unleash ‘a ka-new one’ on the Krew EVERY time you hook up!! First, you’re given her cv, folio, shoe size, perfume, auntie’s-sisters-cousin’s kid’s info (by the time she arrives, you feel like she’s part of the Krew), then her tastes blah blah blah.. So now this one (so the joke goes) was going to fika the Mgemas' Penthouse, and ask The Che to take her to a doggolos with seats…..!

Meanwhile it's seven-ICH, The Ich is supposed to bring dish-time’s a-flyin’, guys are hungry, Mtembezi getting sweeter, but also ishain. So I holla at my peeps “ Sup dawg- You still coming?”

He gives the phone to Nderitu!!

He asks for incentive to kuja!

They start complaining of rain (it wasn’t even drizzlin!!), trip to atm, buyin the food, getting a loose one, blah blah blah…what’s a brother to do when you get such a loud hint? I BANGED the phone on him and deleted the conversation!

Back at the ranch:
The Che hollas at it’s mamtuse- good things come in small packages…and gives me the phone “Just hold on, talk to someone who can give you directions..” She’s coming from Kangundo!! So here we are, frantically thinking of where to get furniture in the middle of the night-especially considerin I don’t have The Ich’s number anymore!!!
Half an hr later, she calls from the roundabout, and I direct her to the hse! (Kama mbaya mbaya-The Che will seat on a cushion and beba her! Ama waende Galileo’s……..)
Huko welcoming party, red carpet, brollies, The Che's even chomoad incense for the house-Walalala-the extent men will go to impress mamas!

She turns out to be an easy goin one! Che, get a job as a movie buff-those things of exaggeratin n stuff would come in handy!! To the extent of offering to take The Nyakomaber to buy kukus and fries… and some loose ones.Che, huyo weka!

It’s half midnight, guys on the carpet katikaing Saoulo, The Ng’ash dancing rumba/mugithi, too much noise for the neighbors! We decide an hr at Q’s in order.

But alas! Mundu Witu’s ‘Pierre Cardin” thogithis (socks) are soaked wet! Am wondering ala?! He asks for a ka-pair of my cottons..while he tukanas me about how many pairs I should give in exchange (fery demanding beggar, this is!!). And The Mgema sees an opprtunity-so I stokes the fire-kama viatu na socks ni designer, mbona zinaingiza maji? Kwa ufupi, we left the house thirty minutes later……….

Gari mbili- Reyes bila wiper, Ng’ash bila lights-thank God ubabini iko streetlights!!

Q’s…
Wasee msoto, wamewaka kiasi- Nyako na Mgema wanakunywa maji..The rest on a brew. The Che’s mama is on stool, Monsieur amekalia edge ya stool. Then he kulas that Mundu Witu pose-a variation of the fetal position he and Nyako perfected back in the days-only this one he does standing!

Then he starts ‘pouring’ from the seat-understand this picture:
Mamasita is SHORT- her feet on that stool fika Che’s WAIST-and they are dangling on the side!! So now she’s holding him from falling (and possibly killin that last neuron left in lieu of oblongata…) and it’s HILARIOUS!

We are dying, guys have stopped shooting pool, dj has stopped the music…
“Che!” , I holla
“*wathethytehteehj” (*that jibberish only he knows!)
“Che!”
wathethytehteehj” (Kicheko zaidi)

Then with the grace of a ballet dancer, he starts katikain to the music!! Eyes shut!
We all clap-all of Q’s-
this is an ad!!
Am thinking, bad thing Budweiser, Heineken, Guinness, Malta, Bamboocha Marketing Managers were not here!!! This would have won in the APA Awards...

Half one-we are nodding sana-I make sure the Kids are ok, we make our exit. We are well into Monday-thanks God it’s a holiday!! I can’t wait for Tuesday to blog..the rest of the Krew need to know.

One thing bothering my curiosity-I just wonder how she woke him to get out of the cab....





8 comments:

Samurai Ich said...

Heh I reply!

Mid-day phone rings. "Mgema calling" I answer. I explain to the brotha that I'm jobisoring from tha SOHO (small office, home office) and i might be thru at seven-ish PM.

Seven PM-sharp. "Mgema calling". I am still in the zone on jobiso. Might be another hour. Mgema asks that I buy poultry on my way there. By now Mgema should know NEVER to depend on the Ich for food, esp when Ich is en-route anywhere. You will die.

8:30-ish PM "Mgema calling". Still hungry. The Ich, working still. Too many clients to please (or annoy) post-easter, so I was in homework mode. I thought I could still make it to the Penthouse (with a view).

9:00 PM another call "Mgema calling" Damn, its like one of those clients and he is still hungry!

9:25 PM: IT STARTS RAINING!! I think the Penthouse is above the rainclouds!! It was f(^*^%ing pouring. I started having serious doubts about making it to...
1. call a cab guy, 2. go to ATM, 3. go to dead poultry shop.

9.28 PM: Knock on my door. Weird! Its Nderito. Bored to bits he had visited in the night to borrow DVDs.

9.30 PM: The Mgema calls again! I inform him that now its late and I am not sure if i will make it. I was exhausted. Its still raining, I would still have to go thru steps 1, 2 and 3 above and a 4th one now to get some Van Ryns in addition. Nderito asked to talk to him also, asked for an incentive (Nderito had a car so we could cancel the taxi bit, right?). The Mgema fumed, and for me the night was over.

Lessons to be learnt:
1. Invitations are not by force!
2. Thou shalt NOT depend on the Ich when in party or hunger.
3. It doesnt rain everywhere at the same time in the world.

I will think of more lessons later. However, going by the blog. The night seemed FAR from boring or devoid of Krew-like activity. Seems it ended in Father Ashok's house with all his sons and daughters partying (or sleep-standing).

Migz said...

Father Ashok, muaaahhahaha...I have CHEKAD!

Bloody miss that joint..that members night for buying sambuca shots with a 5 bob coin was just the shit!

Great to see the easiest way to get on Mgema's tits is to not get H5N1 Mfalme to him in time, especially on a loose weekend nite :-)

Kelitu said...

Okay how could you have watched the entire season 1 of Prison Break when the season is not over?! Ebu explain that...

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...

Kelitu- I know this guy..(watch season 5-7, you'll understand that statement!)

Unknown said...

Ich, Migz-you dind't know it's a Miiro thing-H5N1 Mfalme wings are a must with Viceroy or Mtembezi!!

Unknown said...

And with Mundu Witu in his element, it's a shame when the Krew isn't there to share. Add Rungz retardness (with guitar skills an all), K's, I-ring n Nyako's (back-up) vocals, Ich's anecdotes, Migz's harsh ones and Mgema's constant re-fills, and y'all can see why the Krew's oneness is vital!!

Unknown said...

Why doesn't Gava give us per diem as well?Or we do welfare queues for Mtembezi so that we can pray the whole spirit...