Easter Special! 2006 Edition

Saturday 15th,
The Mgema has to go to the office (Note, not to work). It fikas the office at half eight and there’s a buzz - two mamas are getting married on that day (whoever gets married on Valentines, X-si, Easter?!!), and you know women and weddings-but I digress. Full of brokenness and not in a particularly flowery mood, weddings are out of day’s schedule…

10.37 am
Can’t stay in this place..body’s on relax mode cruise-control (RM CC), pockets in brokenness-mode FULL-in-control (BM FIC), throat on thirst mode Can’t-wait-to-hammer-that-Mtembezi kunyota control (TM @#$$%#$@!! KM) and dick in…
-my pants!

So my peoples come up with an idea; inhaler in one hand, painkillers on the other, they make the first hint to the workmates- guys, am not feeling well…ten minutes later, n we are on the phone with the ever lovely Nyakomaber, aka Maria Ofelia (Voice of the People). Hallo, hallo…hallo hallo (she understands-private joke)…and rendezvous is arranged for Sarit..

Twenty mins later, The Mgema’s walking in Sarit, Sweets is window shopping with her bro and nephew.. we head for the parking downstairs, and this is where the drama begins.

ASIDE: See, anyone who knows The Mgema knows it doesn’t-pull-punches, tells-it-as-is apologizes-on-a need-to-basis, moves-on with-the-shit-after-knocking-a-neat-Viceroy kinda peeps. It judges on basis of “human”, not uniform, cadre, creed, race, blah blah blah.. ask the traffic cop it told to tuck in his shirt who saluted the reprimand..

Relevance? Refer below…

Sweets has parked the Mgema-mobile, aka Reyes, next to an as-ancient Datsun 120Y two door salon, who’s two lady occupants were getting back to the car from shopping just as we were.. And after loading the car, one proceeds t push the trolley just on the road and walk back to the mo-ats!

And my peeps’ jus standin there in shock thinkin’
“OH NO YOU DIDN’T!!!”
And immediately tells the lady,
“get that off the road!”,
to which she timidly responds,
“but he (watchman, standing eight metres away) will get it.”
And I responds,
“that’s NOT his work!! GET IT OFF THE ROAD!”

And she shame-facedly pushes the trolley back to the side walk and hurriedly gets back to the car.

She’s, understandably, very embarrassed by the whole thing, crowd of onlookers and amused watchie notwithstanding…but worst, IT was a fully frocked NUN!!

Tsk, tsk! This Mgema..I think he just couldn’t wait to get digz to that Mtembezi (Johnny Walker….